Making your employee feel valued and your spouse feel loved, both depend on the same thing: significance. A crucial part of your job as an employer or as the other half in a relationship is to make the person feel important. Making your partner or employee feel important is often a matter of specifying how and why their efforts are valued.
We often find people that work in big companies feel like a small fish in a big pool. They are all very similar in that they don’t feel of great importance or that they have much of an affect or influence in the organization, or contribute to it’s success for that matter. Too often people feel insignificant, with potentially dire results.
You can see this pattern in people across many aspects of life. For example, many people are uninterested, frustrated or relate badly towards Government elections when they feel as if they have little influence or importance in the outcome. The same as when people retire. After six months of travelling, playing golf, and visiting the grandkids, recent retirees often start to feel downcast. It’s especially bad for men, whose depression rates spike in retirement.
That need for significance and feeling valued is crucial to well-being at work, too. It’s clear in the way people stick around or flee from jobs. That’s the lesson for managers (and romantic partners): If you want to make the other person feel valued and significant, explain how their actions help everybody involved. When the meaning of something is clear, when the why is clear, it’s easier to respond to requests. It makes you feel like you are part of a team.